September 22, 2005

The Mass

The mass for my grandmother was this morning. It was much longer than I expected, though I didn't notice until afterwards when I looked at my watch. Being in St. Clements, the church my grandparents have gone to since long before I was born, always makes me feel at once comforted, and awkward (a subject for another post).

I was only slightly amazed at the number of people there. I had no doubt that anyone who had come in contact with my grandmother, known to the world as Ruth, could help but love her. Yet, seeing the entire church filled with her friends still impressed me. I would have loved to have gotten a picture of everyone looking forward, from the back of the church, but as it was my duty to bring the gifts of the communion forward, and as being family put me in the front, I saw no way to politely get back there and do it. I would imagine that most people would find picture taking during a funeral mass to be at least slightly rude.

Afterwards, her last wish was granted, and her ashes were sprinkled in the church garden by her husband, and remaining three children. She spent nearly all of her life at this church. It use to have a school associated with it, and she served 23 years in the cafeteria. She was in the Friendship Club, and the Bereavement Committee. Her and my papaw together took over 80 couples through the church's marriage prep program. It is only fitting that she should stay there now.

In true Catholic fashion, we gathered for a meal afterwards. Everyone had brought something. Having shed enough tears for the day, we ate with laughter. I think it's very important to always celebrate the life of someone, not simply mourn their passing. The lighter mood meant that I could take pictures without as many dirty looks. You can see from this picture of just half of the cafeteria how many people were there. The food was great, and afterwards I sat at the table and talked with my uncle, who lives in Florida. I don't get to see him very much. At least, I did this until someone admonished me for not having noticed the large table full of dessert, and promptly began eating two.

As I have some family in Florida, and some in Indiana, we all found it a good opportunity for a family photo. We aren't the type to have frequent reunions. Though we do gather for Christmas every Christmas Eve. Santa Claus even comes, though most of the out-of-state family does not. Thus, the picture. I'm to the immediate right of my papaw, who's sitting in the chair. DS was welcomed into the family by being told he could be in the picture, and quickly put on probation when he thought he could join in the jokes we share about Papaw's height. He pointed a finger at him and said, "YOU are new! You don't get to do that yet!" DS wisely held his tongue later, when we began teasing Papaw about his crooked pointer finger, and us not knowing who he was pointing to...

Despite the sad reason we gathered, it was nice to see my family again. Many of the people that came I had never met before. We have a family calendar that is "published" every year, and includes a directory in the back complete with pictures and family tree information. While I recognized many of their faces from flipping through it, it was nice to finally have a person to put with the image. All in all, I think it was a good day. I am sure that Mamaw is happy.

4 comments:

Monkey said...

I was at my cousin's funeral on Monday, and it felt strange to say to family I hadn't seen in a while "Good to see you!"

But funerals are just as important for bringing family together as weddings and baptisms. I'm glad the ceremony honored your grandmother well.

Monkey's Human

*Monica said...

I am sorry for your loss, but glad you got to see family again. Weddings and funerals, man.

Rowan said...

I am so awkward at those situations, everything always comes out wrong.`

Spinning Girl said...

A nice post, and a meaningful experience.