August 11, 2005

Advice, or the lack thereof

Recently, as in the last time she posted, MT commented on Hotmail's tips for bringing laughs to a date. I, too, like to read those little pieces of wisdom that Hotmail delivers free of charge. It's almost like Cosmo. Okay, not really.

Continuing on with their trend for full-proof plans for getting it on... I present to you their "10 things every single girl must own."

1."A fabulous photo of yourself." Yeah, okay, this is alright. But just to keep it on your fridge in the hopes that guys will check it out when they come over? I don't know... sounds pretty pathetic to me.

2. "A pretty pair of heels." Eh. Just because I have them doesn't mean I wear them.

3. "An Eminem cd." This I have major problems with. They advise that girls buy this cd, not to listen to it mind you, but to give guys the impression that we're "open minded." But we're not! We're faking it! At some point, when this fling turns into a relationship and he realizes that you never listen to this cd, but in fact hate it, how do you explain that you put it there just to trick him into finding you interesting?

6. "Bathroom reading." First of all, I'd rather you not take a dump in my house if I hardly know you. Secondly, why is it suddenly taboo to keep a bunch of Sports Illustrated if you don't keep up with sports? I mean, we're supposed to keep around cd's of musicians we happen to think suck.. what's the difference?

8. "Earplugs." Riiiight. Because this happens to me sooo often.

10. "A condom." While this is probably a good idea, you should also think twice about sleeping with people you hardly know that also refuse to provide condoms themselves. Seems pretty risky to me.

Okay, so maybe I'm not single. But surely I'm not the only one who thinks the author of this piece is either scarily desperate, or a floozy.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

how about a pretty pair of ankles...

Anonymous said...

You might be surprised how many girls will feign interest in their boyfriends hobbies to get what they want. Or maybe you wouldn't.

Unknown said...

That is a pretty retarded article! Here we are, living in the 21st century and "they" are still trying to brainwash girls/women into thinking that manipulation and lying are the best way to keep a guy interested. The author is probably in her late 50's and unhappily married.

Jesse said...

Cankles--I remember my friend Steve telling me a story about a triathlon he was doing. He was riding hard and really huffing and puffing when a lady with cankles blew by him on her road bike.

Damn right. Cankles=hill climbing power!

Unknown said...

Thanks, MT!
: )