Once Stentorian

Oh Fiona...

It never ceases to amaze me the way a song can find its way inside me and completely change who I think I am. All I know seems different, changed, and I have to start the process of building my self-image all over again...

A very good friend of mine, seeing my Fiona Apple collection was one cd short, took it upon himself to fix it this Christmas by giving me a brand new copy of Extraordinary Machine. I thought for sure nothing could be more moving, more powerful, or more beautiful than When the Pawn.. but I was wrong. Oh was I ever.

Ms. Apple has this way of writing lyrics in a way that poetically recaptures every sad and bitter moment I've ever experienced, and then lays them over melodies that can make you want to cry over the beauty of it all. Then it's like an addiction, even though loving the cd causes me to relive the moments that make the songs ring true, I can't stop listening. And before you know it, I've stumbled back into that place of bitterness with all the self-loathing it entails.

Now I find myself questioning everything I do. What are my true motives? Why does it seem like everything I touch turns into a disaster in the making?

All I have to do now is sit back and wait for the train wreck that I know is coming, or pray that something pulls me out in time.

Or I could change cds....