January 16, 2012

Catching Up

One of my goals this year is to blog more, but here it is, the 16th, and this is only my second post.  I haven't even gone back and posted my holiday photos here yet, though I did manage to get them up on Flickr.  So I'm here, trying to write something.

I had a conversation with DS today about time.  Well, mostly I pontificated to him through instant messaging while he failed to respond because he was working at a real job.  Anyway, we were talking about how it was taking me longer than I wanted to write out some new flute parts for some new material the band is making, and I was worried about getting it done before practice tonight so I'd have something to play.  But also, there are like 15 other things I wanted/needed to do today, one of which was "spend several hours playing computer games."  In case you're curious, those games are Skyrim and Sims Medieval*.  Though I have to admit that it's mostly Sims Medieval, because I rock at that game (I think you have to be really bad not to), and I keep dying in stupid Morvunskar and it makes me mad so I quit.

Anyway, I was thinking about how whenever someone finds out I don't work, they look at me strange and almost always ask what I do all day.  Except they don't ask it in a way that would suggest they're curious, but more like they can't comprehend what a fully functional adult with any self respect would do with themselves during those hours of the day most people dedicate to "work."  As if not going to a job every day somehow means you are incapable of doing anything worthwhile.  This question always bothers me.  My snippy answer is, "All those things you wish you had more time to do but don't because you work all day."  It's a subject that I struggle with on my own anyhow.  There is a lot of importance put on what you do for a living in this world.  Or maybe there isn't, but some congruence of my childhood and upbringing and education caused me to be overly sensitive to the matter.  For a long time I felt like I should be working, even though I didn't really like the idea of working, because that is what an adult does.  Even now, when I'm mostly okay with things, I will feel the urge to find a job.  The idea of having to be up and dressed every morning and out the door by 8 or whatever shuts that urge down really fast.

I'm getting off topic.  What I was trying to say is that I was thinking about all these things I wanted to do today.  Not just things to do in general, but a long list of specific things that I wanted to accomplish on this one day.  And I found myself wishing for more time in the day.  Even though I have more time in the day for these things than most.  Which, as you can see up there, brought me back to thinking about how people are always amazed that I'm not bored out of my mind.  I wonder why it is that I'm not when so many people are sure they would be in my place?  What is different about me?  Do I just have that many hobbies?  It really doesn't feel like it, especially since I know I could spent several days in a row, all day, doing the same thing and be perfectly content.

I did title this post Catching Up, didn't I?  Well, DS and I have been spending a lot of quiet time at home.  He's most of the way through The Eye of the World, and not hating it, which is a big source of happiness for me.  I've been listening to audiobooks while chugging along on this cross stitch pattern I've had for 15 years.  Band practice finally resumed after a 2 month hiatus, and this time we had my new Zoom H2 to record our shenanigans, so we happily caught the impromptu new song on tape.  DS and I got a membership at the local climbing gym, and we've been twice already.  Their climbs are graded harder than they were at Boulders in Wisconsin, which combined with my several years of not doing it meant that I was struggling up 5.4's the first day.  This gym is quite a bit taller than my last one too, and I found myself afraid of doing moves at the top.  Also, it took a session and a half to really start trusting the rope and my harness to catch me again, even for little things like lowering me off the climb.  My muscles hurt in a good way, and I was up to 5.6's when we left yesterday.  I also have new beads and some jewelry making tools, and plan to really get into my Etsy shop again soon.  And I got a book for learning the violin, and hopefully I'll find the time and motivation to squeeze that into my schedule too.

So we've been busy, but also mostly by ourselves.  A bit different from last year.  I'm feeling very productive, and I like it.

*It occurred to me the other day, in one of those thoughts that you think are excellent and profound but in truth probably only seem so as long as they stay within the confines of your own brain, an "it sounded better in my head" type of moment if you will, that any Sims game (not Sim City though, that's a whole other beast) mostly requires a strong dose of time management for excelling.  Which is funny, because anyone good at those games probably struggles with that in their real life.


tRuCuLeNtWoMaN said...

A climbing gym!!!! Hopefully sometime this summer I can fly up by myself or maybe even NOT by myself and we can go to the climbing gym? I loved it with you guys when we went to COlumbia and also in Elkins and also in Costa Rica!!!!! And they'll make a big deal out of it because NOW, I'm REALLY old!!!!!

ps DId I leave a yucky hair thing at your house? It hooks to a dryer and has a bunch of rubbery weenies on it . . . .?????

Lisa said...

I know that I stay home with E, and that's a "job" (a privilege that I know many moms don't get), but I too feel the urge to find a job sometimes. I think for me its almost out of guilt.