Decisions

Perhaps you've noticed that DS and I are in the midst of deciding our future.  On Thursday we'll be visiting Philadelphia to see how well we like it.  Having gotten all of our offers on the table, I think it would take a very bad experience there for us to turn down Philadelphia at this point.  This is both disappointing and exciting at the same time.

One of the things I've always imagined having one day is a very large yard.  I'm talking acres and acres.  I'm not really joking when I say things like "I want baby goats", or "I want fresh eggs".  I take a lot of pleasure and comfort out of growing things, and having a garden full of vegetables just sounds like heaven to me.  Caring for plants and animals makes me feel calm and complete.  Not to mention the food is just so much better when it can ripen in the earth and be eaten right away.  This was a real possibility for me in Chapel Hill, but isn't looking promising for Philadelphia.  I mean, I might be able to have a small garden, but definitely no goats.

So there's that, and the fact that many of my friends here in Santa Barbara have plans to end up in North Carolina when their school paths are finished.  I have to admit that I had this whole future of fun times planned out in my head with this knowledge in mind.  Which, to be honest, was always very tentative.  One thing I've learned from tagging along behind DS is that no matter what you think your plans for the future are, the world makes its own path for you.  That's not to say that if your main goal is to end up in a specific location that you couldn't do that.  Just that making that your first priority limits all your other goals, and I've found that these things change over time.

Philadelphia is exciting in it's own right though.  It's a real city for starters, something that intrigues me having only briefly visited such places before.  Of course, this is both good and bad.  It has all those things about cities I love, like art museums, ballet, orchestras, theater, good places to eat.  But it comes along with things I've never had to worry too much about before, like crime and real traffic.  I have to be honest, the crime thing makes me nervous.  And also the lack of personal space...  But the rest of it sounds exciting and fun, and so I'm willing to give it a try as long as our visit doesn't go horribly awry.

This has me questioning my life goals again.  I believe a place like Philadelphia opens up the historic preservation option again, and I'm seriously unsure if I even want it.  I've been thinking a lot about what my dream job would be since the last time I posted about jobs, and I just don't know.  And if "farmer" is off the table, I'm having trouble coming up with my second choice.  Honestly, I just never thought that at nearly 30 I'd still be wondering what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I can tell you one thing for sure though.  I'm never taking another crappy job just to pay the bills.  That is one thing all of these job offers for DS can promise me, and it is the best gift I could ask for.