May 10, 2013

This is a conversation right?*

Life is weird right now.  I'm still trying desperately to finish unpacking things in our new house.  I'd really love for it to be done when my parents come to stay.  However, the boys are teething, so getting anything at all done feels like Herculean task.  I do manage a few things a day, some days more than others, so there's progress.  Just often of the snail variety.

I feel like I'm forgetting what it's like to speak with adults in a real language.  Generally the only person I see is my husband.  We're currently getting about an hour where we calm babies and feed them and often can't hear each other, then maybe, if I'm lucky, an hour to sit zombie like on the couch.  Then he goes to bed so he can get up with them at 4:30 in the morning.  I like to take this time to myself as a sort of cleansing time.  It's sacred, even though it inevitably means I'll be tired tomorrow.  I just don't think I can handle having my every waking moment be twin time.  Having time to myself at night lets me enjoy their company the next day, even though those days are filled with drool, puke, and tears.

They're getting to be more fun though.  Today Monkey was laughing as I threw him in the air, that's new.  I watched him play with this hole-y sphere thing with his hands.  Bear went from crying to explosive happiness when I brought him close to Monkey so they could interact.  These are lovely things and they make the crying times so much easier to handle.  But seriously, the teething is uncool.  It's not that it's the worst thing to deal with out of all the other issues we've dealt with, but more like it comes right when you feel like you've gotten a handle on the rest.  I thought we were there.  Parenting is kind of exhausting that way.  Other twin moms tell you, "It doesn't get easier, just different."  Yeah.  Awesome.  I see that.

So it's this weird mix of amazing things and exhausting things and kind of sad things.  DS took Monkey to bed when he finally stopped crying tonight and never came back.  He didn't even eat dinner.

This will be my first Mother's Day this weekend.  I want to sleep in.  I want to play Sim City for a few hours.  I kind of want brunch and a trip to the zoo, but I don't want to deal with other people.  I want a lounge chair so I can sit in my new yard and read a book and enjoy the weather.  I hope the weather is enjoyable.  If not for lounging outside, I'll take a strong thunderstorm too.

My mom sent me chocolate covered strawberries for Mother's Day.  They're huge and decadent and delicious and were totally unexpected.  I love them.

I have thoughts brewing for Father's Day; trying to narrow them down.

There's a fly in my house.  Sometimes I think I hate flies more than spiders.  Spiders might terrify me, but they keep flying by my face when I'm sleeping either.

A Song of Ice and Fire.. man.  I wish someone was reading at the exact same pace as me so I could have completely spoiler free conversations as I go.

Is there anything better than baby laughter?

I am so starved for human interaction that I actually got into a debate on the internet today.  It was about something I didn't even care about really, and I was just initially offering a possible alternate viewpoint because it bothers me when people think things are black and white.  Maybe sometimes they are, but usually they're messy.  I actually chose to continue debating this topic after I started getting queasy  which always happens to me during any kind of confrontation, even friendly debates.  I'm starved enough for conversation that I chose to be queasy.

I guess if you ever read this anymore Mom, you'll know why I call you so much, haha.  Love you :)

*More like word vomiting.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

I remember being exactly where you are, when adult conversation seemed like the most precious thing ever because you never get it. Nick would complain about people at work and I wanted to slap him and say, "I've been talking to a dog all day!"
And I agree, "It doesn't get easier, just different." I think that's true for any mom. Some of it gets easier simply because you get used to it.
I hope you have a relaxing Mother's Day and that you get all the "me time" you want! You absolutely deserve it!